Bin Rat

I always manage to miss putting the bin out at the correct time on the day of a collection, so I put mine out late last night and feeling very pleased with myself I toddled off to bed. I got a text at “indecent o’clock” this morning, which threw me all out of kilter and found myself making a brew at 8.30. Struggling to cope with the bright sun shining through my ‘lovely’ net curtains, and the sound of the kettle coming up to boil, I could hear a strange muttering sound. Mmm, a man was outside my house, or to be precise, a strange man was in my bin. I cannot believe how upset this made me. I couldn’t decide whether to go and take my bin back (where would I put it? - In my front room for safe keeping until the heroic bin man came a calling?) or go out-side and tell him to piss off, it’s my rubbish – leave it alone! I watched him, I went to my door, I returned to watch him, went back to the door, in the end I went to the back of the house and just stood in my bedroom, utterly confused, upset and annoyed. My rubbish, my property, who the fuck did he think he was? I went back to my window and stood routed to the spot, utterly fascinated with this scavenger. I saw my old tobacco tin, all 3D, blue and shiny, a long time friend, laid to rest only the day before… did I really need it? Nope, it had made it to the bin ffs and I’ve had two more since that one, why was I so upset? After all it would be being re-cycled, surely this is a good thing? It didn’t feel like a ‘good thing’ though, then he removed the top boxes and picked up my kitchen rubbish…. Oh nooooooooo, wisely he put that down and moved on to another bag, out came my unwanted and un-needed USB mug of tea warmer… “what the fuck is he going to do with that?” I asked myself, I went to the back of the house again, decided to get my camera and take a photo or two of him, I mean, I get it, he is just doing what people the world over do, it is just that down a regular street in England I was totally unprepared for it, what shocked me the most was how violated I felt. Puts being robbed or being attacked into a dark perspective, I mean, it was only my bin, how on earth do people with truly distressing situations cope?